living vicariously

i'm a mess

Yesterday I accidentally cut my eyelashes off.  I had gone to the store and bought a new eyelash curler cause mine was old and worn out. Obviously the one I bought was not a good choice. Last night while getting ready to go out I gently put it over my left eye, pressed down, and watched as all of my eyelashes came falling down.

Normally I wouldn't admit this to the world, but I'm thinking it may just be a little obvious for a few weeks. So, now it's all out in the open. So there you have it, I make mistakes. Like buying a new eyelash curler when mine at home is perfectly fine. I'm really quite genius at covering things like this up, so last night nobody even noticed anything was wrong...

I had to go to the chiropractor yesterday. My shoulder is bothering me. Maybe all of the weight lifting over the years is catching up with me... He adjusted every bone in my body, then hooked me up to an electro-shock therapy machine. We shot electricity into my shoulder. I felt kinda giddy afterward.

The locks on my car don't work. Not like I have an old car or anything. It's new, and nice. But the battery must be dead in the key-less entry system. So this morning I sat in my pajamas on the hood of my car parked in the street - and I proceeded to take the whole thing apart. Right there. MacGyver style. Tried everything. Put it back together. Ended up crawling through the open sunroof. Ok, not really. I dropped the key onto the pavement and the doors magically unlocked.

I must sound completely uncivilized.

big vs. small

I eat out often. Sometimes too much. Considering I only eat 1.5 meals a day, eating out once a day means a lot of tough decisions. I would love to be able to walk into a restaurant and order whatever I want, but a constant reminder of what I'm supposed to do surrounds me. Beverly Hills. You wanna go on a diet?.. Go have lunch in Beverly Hills around 1pm. The women there are always tiny, prim, and gorgeous. It will make you cut calories. No question. Of course some people are the exception. I'm sure we all know the ones who just really don't care. You can see the information from the other side here.

No exaggeration, sometimes when I go to lunch there, the waiter actually asks if I'll be having any lunch today. IF. They are so used to us walking in and ordering water with lemon, no solid food for me today..That they actually give us the option to duck out early from looking at the menu.

Starbucks is a big thing now too. You see photos of the girls here walking in and out of starbucks with those big frosty icy yummy drinks. You think they get into their little car and down the whole thing? Or would it make more sense for them to just go to the Starbucks to get the drink (so they'll be photographed today wearing the new outfit they love) and then get into the car, take a few sips, and either give the rest to a friend, or ditch it. You know how many calories these drinks have?? As much as a meal. Starbucks = meal replacement - in my world. You pick. One or the other. Not both. You want a big lovely coffee drink? Or food?

Self professed "big" girls are very funny these days. They get very defensive about the "skinny" girls and they way they eat. I say "they" because I don't consider myself a member. I'm neutral. I'm a fat girl in a skinny girls body. Like if you put Lisa Lamponelli in Gisel's body. That's me. Happy, healthy, indulging, all wrapped up in a 36-25-36, 5'10" package. Don't hate me because I got it all, big girls. I'm one of you, just in a tight little wrapper.

I order my salad with dressing on the side, sure. I do meal replacement, or no meals at all for long periods of time... Sure. But that just means that I'm capitalizing on my finer qualities. Instead of letting my fluffy side show, I'm hiding it behind my six pack and perfect legs. You should be proud of me, big girls, I'm representin!!

Ok, this is a really silly post. But I noticed that "big girls" talk a lot about the "skinny". But the "skinny" never talk openly about the "big girls". Like it's gonna offend them. They know they're big! Either they love being big, or a lot of them are liars. Either way, I thought I would open the door to talking openly about this underground rivalry.

You walk into a room and see a bunch of big girls looking at a Victoria's Secret catalog talking about how the models look sick and disgusting. How they would never want to look like that. Unhealthy.

Then you walk into another room and a bunch of skinny, beautiful girls are gathered around a Lane Bryant catalog.... Silence. Right?   

networking

This is LA. Business is done in the strangest places. I think most of it is handled on the golf course. Since I don't play golf I have to find other places to conduct it. Once I got an audition because someone in line at the DMV had a script that got funded. You just never know.

I have to go to a party tonight. I don't go to dance, and I don't go to meet men... I go to network. If you put yourself in the right place at the right time you can work your way into a lot of great gigs. The thing with this town is that you have to be seen. People have to see you out and about before they get the point that you're recognizable.

I put a lot of effort into my rare appearances. I make myself look good enough that it's striking, but not so over the top that it's fake. This is my goal anyways. Maybe sometimes I go a little far with it. But another great thing about LA is that you can be yourself, nobody cares if you're a little crazy. It's actually recommended here. Normal people don't do so well in the industry. So I try to act like I have an insane side, but it's not always easy for me. I'm the rational one.

Somebody told me once that if I didn't have such high morals that I would already be famous. Maybe I'll try that. Sometime I'm gonna go with the flow. Show up at the right parties, get photographed with the right people, and make up stories about my contractual obligations. If it works I'll thank that somebody who mentioned getting a new strategy.

how to relax

Even though I know how to groom myself, it doesn't mean that I always want to put the effort in. This is the main reason why women like me need to go to the spa now and then. Sure, I could stay home and work on my skin, but why wouldn't I want to lay on my back and let someone else handle it. Someone with soft hands and flowery smelling products. Yummy.  So I went into the medspa and relaxed for a lil bit today.

I also drove all the way to Hollywood to see my chiropractor. He wasn't there. I think chiropractors are like chap stick. You only think you need them because you've been using them. If you quit, cold turkey, I think the body would adjust. I happen to love the feel of the chap stick on my lips, and Dr. Tom pushing on my back. I like these forgivable addictions. I don't really have any non-forgivable things I'm addicted to... So this is good for me.

Tonight I went to the movies. For once I actually liked the movie. Superbad. I know, I know, it's silly... But it was enjoyable to the point of me actually being distracted for a while. I wasn't wondering when it would end so I could bolt. I'm home now. Having wine, salad. Mostly wine.

I may actually have something fun going on tomorrow. I obviously don't accept just any invitation around this town, but a friend of mine is having a birthday party tomorrow night at Area in Hollywood. Am taking a girlfriend with me. Gotta show up for a bit, if for no other reason but to blog about it.

stalker

I've been going back to the gym recently. Stopped going for a while because of a stalker. Ok, not really. I quit so that I could focus on working out in the great outdoors. But now I'm back. And within 20 seconds of walking into the building I had 7 people ask where I went for 4 months. And how on earth I stayed in shape without them. I quickly got myself down to the free weights to start my little routine, and some big walking muscle decided to come over and compliment my "glow". It's not so embarrassing until they walk away and everyone within a 30 ft radius keeps staring with big fat smiles on their faces. Uggghhh. Gross. I just wanna perfect my muscle tone, not chit chat with the meatheads.

So, I play the ice princess when I'm in that building. People probably think I'm a real bitch, but if I don't act like that everyone wants to talk. I think the last straw before I quit going last time was the man who kept writing me poems every day. I'd be on the stair climber and he would walk over and read the latest poem to me. A little creepy.

Here's a little example:

This I've never felt. She smiled and Siberian ice started to melt. Time halted and for an exalted moment we became transcendent. But, business has it's place, and now we must bottle her face, for goodness sakes, and pour it on pancakes.

When some random guy in the gym reads this to you on a piece of paper he just ripped out of a magazine across the room it's perfectly normal, right? I mean, this is what normal, balanced people do. And by normal, balanced people I mean crazy crazy weirdos who stalk girls in the gym.

how girls ruin things

I've had 2 friends in town visiting from Chicago. Really sweet newlyweds. So, she is interested in seeing the celebrity side of LA. Beverly Hills, celeb hot spots... It never impressed me, but I can see the attraction for visitors. We reserved a table at Koi, which always proves a good place to see familiar faces. But before the dinner we had to stop by a girls house for a drink. Cause I guess it's her birthday. Her apartment is completely out of the way, but to be cordial we stopped in. She was already drunk. It was 9pm. Hostess should not be drunk when guests are still arriving. Too much food was put out, and the music was loud for her small place.

Then her boyfriend showed up and they disappeared into the bedroom for a while. Guests still sitting in the living room chatting. Needless to say, we couldn't go to Koi because she wanted to keep the party at home. My girlfriend wanted to get out on the town, and instead we got stuck at this apartment drinking. Left early, without dinner.

I read on perezhilton.com this morning that Britney Spears and some other celebs dined at Koi last night. My out of town guests should be very upset with this other girl who ruined our night.  Hope she isn't reading this. But it's true. Some women always have to have their way, even if it means a negative effect on everyone else. Class & Tact. Some people just weren't born with either.

too sexy for my couch

Yesterday, Friday, was a busy day. And by busy day I mean that I didn't have time to wash my hair. Which is extremely important to me. Sounds crazy, but that's how I like to define a busy day. :)

Have some friends in town, and I'm giving the full blown LA tour. I should charge admission into my car. Went to the beach, had breakfast, rode bikes.. Ended up in Beverly Hills for lunch. Way too much food. Dinner was a Moroccan restaurant in Hollywood. You have to eat with your hands there. I liked it. Messiness is next to something else really great.

I did actually book a good gig yesterday. Had a voicemail when I woke up. Guy has a project he's working on in Malibu next month. Sounds like something I'd like to do.. I really like the days when I actually book something that pays well, and I didn't have to make the first move to get the job. It's better when they come to me.

So, now I'm motivated to get off of my couch and get my bikini body back. Ok, so, I never really lost my bikini body, but that always sounds so motivating when i say it. Like I can pretend that I'm overweight and it's an accomplishment.

I do have to cut back on the alcohol though. Empty calories suck.

getting fat

While I was on my trip to Missouri I ate everything I wanted to. I could understand this if maybe I worked in an office somewhere and didn't have a care in the world when it comes to my appearance.. But I work as a model. I'm supposed to have no body fat, and perfect legs. But nachos and margaritas are so yummy!

I work out almost every day when I'm in LA. But it seems like as I get older this just isn't enough anymore. I've always been very open about my dieting issues. I don't use drugs. I don't make myself throw up. I just can't do it. And worse than that, I eat everything I want to. Then i go on these crash diets. Sometimes I go for 3 or 4 days and only have a couple hundred calories per day.

But fortunately I'm 5'10" tall and the weight just falls right off of me. I also think I'm the only one that notices the extra 4 pounds.

These are my thoughts this morning. First thing when I wake up. As I sit here and eat my yogurt and granola - knowing that later today I just have to be hungry. 

up. down. up. down.

My normal everyday routine to stay in shape?... I run stairs. I run them. Up. Down. Up...you get it... I don't slowly walk them. I run. Then sometimes when i get a burst of energy I run down the street to the other set of stairs and I run them also. I think there are about 170ish stairs total. Feels more like 500 at the time. People should follow a certain etiquette when they are on the stairs though.

Rule #1 - No perfume. No cologne. Please. Makes me wanna choke & fall down the stairs to put myself out of my misery.

Rule#2 - Stop kicking back. I personally don't think this is an effective exercise. Maybe the fitness police will hear me say that and come arrest my little ass... But I just don't see how the kick back thing works. If you want more of a result for your time...Speed up!! Or do some squats when you get to the top. Who cares?.. But seriously the people behind you who want to pass are fearing for their lives.

Rule #3 - When you get to the top, or bottom, Don't stop to catch your breath. This only makes everyone behind you stop and fall into each others sweaty bodies. Nasty! Keep moving! Stretch in the street, fall in the bushes, anything but stopping in the way of your fellow climbers.

Rule #4 - Please stop counting out loud & singing to your invisible ipod. I don't want to hear your version of "umbrella" and I also don't care if you're on stair #97. Be silent. We come here to escape the gym. The loud, obnoxious machines, people, and music blaring from the speakers. I'm here to listen to the wind, and myself hyperventilate.

Rule #5 - Stop trying to pick up a date for tonight. No, I don't want to hang at Katana. I don't care if it's your friends birthday party. I'm here to walk up and down these stairs. Sure, I do this so my ass looks fantastic, but that doesn't mean I want you looking at it. It's for my own viewing pleasure.

So, there you have it. My rules for the stairs. It's really the greatest workout that I've found. Only downside is that you have to share with all of the other faithful believers. The smelly, loud, rude, horny, stair climbing believers. Ok, maybe not all of us are all of those things. I'd say 2 out of 4 most times....

allow me to introduce myself...

My name is Julie McQueen. I've earned the right to speak freely because I've worked my supermodel butt off to get here. Some people think that life is easy and simple for me because I caught all of the good genes, and people fall over themselves to be near me.. But let me tell you, it's not what they think...

From an early age I had kind of a difficult time with life. My upbringing was different - to say the least. But I survived. I moved out of my home at an early age and started working like crazy to survive. I began as a photographer, then I started my own agency. When I sold the agency I had built it up to be pretty huge. Needless to say, I've had a few other fun careers since those days. I hope nobody is offended by me saying this, but my favorite just may have been the big game hunting. I worked for some of the hunting companies, and they would pay me to advertise their products. So I hunted. Then I got paid. Simple as that. A girl has to do what she has to do.

Somehow I've ended up in California. Los Angeles. Not that I'm trying to brag, but my life is pretty fantastic. I get perks like nobody else I've ever known, and every day is an adventure. Sometimes people think I'm making stuff up as I go, but when your life is like mine you don't have to do that...

Yes, I have my pilot license. People see it on my resume and ask me. Like it's really something I would make up! I have been known to fly myself to wherever it is I need to go. Lips aren't the only thing Jolie and I have in common...

In advance, please excuse my sometimes harsh sense of humor. And once in a while I become a little sarcastic. I'll try to not offend people, but if you're offended by my life, then there's something wrong with yours.

And another thing: I don't see myself as better than or more special than anybody else out there. I've simply put myself into situations that some people would find impossible. I squirm my way into places, and sometimes it's difficult to squeeze back out. So I'll share these experiences with anybody who's brave/bored enough to listen.

Oh, and please feel free to drop me a note on your thoughts, feelings, what you're wearing, and anything else I might want to know.  Try to refrain from getting drunk and leaving comments, becaue it only makes me jealous...